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We Often Wonder Where Our Children Came From

When they are persistent, determined and athletic or coordinated we wonder if they were switched at birth. When they argue and refuse to concede or cooperate we speculate that siblings have influenced their behavior. When they are particularly challenging we assume that we unknowingly and unintentionally bestowed irreparable damage based on our naïve, fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants parenting. When we are utterly befuddled by their behavior we question if they are aliens from outer space.

When they are downright naughty we blame each other’s inherent personality traits.

When Maddux ran from the room crying and seeking solitude in his bedroom where he could contemplate the cruelty of his misunderstood little world – ruefully refusing unauthorized entry, preferring to allow his emotions to flow uninhibited in seclusion (all a reaction from having a remote control seized from his curious little hands) Paul suggested I would be better equipped to deal with the emotional struggles currently overwhelming our three year old.

I cautiously considered the underlying connotation of his recommendation.

I am emotional. I wear my heart on my sleeve. My feelings are easily bruised. I shrewdly allude to my annoyances and I clearly convey my anger. I stew until I am emotionally exhausted and I resort to emotional isolation until I am ready to forgive.

Yes, I do understand Maddux’s emotional turmoil.

But I am also ruthless.

Feeling battered and defeated after arguing for hours with Paityn - this girl who is relentless, persistent, stubborn and genuinely loves to argue simply for the sake of arguing and has mastered the art of wearing down her opponent to the point of submission – I pondered my options as I watched Paityn stomp through the house justifying her actions, reiterating her stance and negotiating her privileges.

I casually indicated that Paul should go deal with his daughter.

We know all too well, but often refuse to admit, exactly how these children came to be.

Speed and Agility

Last night was Paityn's last Dr's appointment with Dr Forcum. Her ankle is now much better and healing very well. She is young and strong. Dr Forcum is very pleased with the way Paityn’s ankle is healing and gave her some additional exercises to do to continue to strengthen not only her ankles, but her calf’s and knees. Both Paul and I are very happy with care Paityn received and hopefully continue to play softball for many years without further injury. She has been cleared to begin exercises, so off we go.....

Tonight was Paityn's first "Speed and Agility" session.



Tracy (Paityn's hitting instructor) and close family friend, found a "Speed and Agility" class for her to attend while her softball team is taking a break before they begin Winter Workouts. Both Paul and I think this would be a great way for Paityn to learn more about how to stretch correctly and get warmed up before hitting the field to play ball.

I personally don't know much about Speed and Agility since I swam and played water polo, but Paul on the other hand is much informed about this subject. I am anxious to learn as much as I can.

Tracy mentioned that there are only 4 other girls currently signed up for this training. The Lakeridge High School (Lake Oswego) softball girls coach, one of the Lakeridge High School softball players, Chelsea (another girl that Tracy works with), a 12 year old, and Paityn. The small size and personalized attention was great, especially for Paityn.

I was a little late picking up Paityn and of course had to hear about that the entire way there. Paityn was very nervous, she kept telling me that she really didn’t want to go and wasn’t feeling well. I kept trying to tell her that everything would be fine and for her to give this class an opportunity and don’t judge until you have gone through one session. I think I hit every red light going to The Spot Studio Fitness. By the time I finally located the gym we were about 10 minutes late. I felt horrible, but didn’t want Paityn to know that. We walked in and Paityn says to me….mom do you have water for me? Oh crap…I forgot water for her. I said no, but let me go in and get you going and I will go find a store. Thankfully Lucretia had set water out for the girls.

Since Paityn missed the warm ups and the first exercise she had to jog a little then she joined right in with the rest of the girls. They started out with push-ups…4 reps, 30 seconds with a 15 second rest in between. Sit-ups, calf rises, burpies, quick feet, and a couple exercises with a 5 pound ball. The ended the workout with a cool down and a couple stretches.

When Paityn was finished she came over to me with a big smile, I asked her if she liked the workout and she said, “YES”. She told me that it wasn’t at all what she thought it would be and enjoyed learning the correct way of doing the exercises. I was a little worried about her ankle, but she said it didn’t hurt at all.

Little does Paityn know that the was probably the easiest of all the 8 workouts she will be completing……

Calamity "Susie"

I was simply strolling through Safeway, contemplating my options for dinner when my brain and my body became two separate entities, each one disastrously confused without the appropriate direction from its necessary counterpart.

I started out carrying a basket stocked full of PowerAde but during this moment of undesirable brain stem failure I briefly remember the basket detaching from my grasp and begin a catastrophic ascent into the air while I, on the other hand, was heading rapidly towards the ground in what was bound to be a painful face plant. Despite the basket’s initial flight, it eventually made it’s own descent, falling just short my head (now firmly planted on the grocery store floor) sending PowerAde’s rolling down the aisle and producing an enormous thud that brought innocent bystanders to gawk at what initially summoned thoughts of an earthquake but turned out to be a women lying stomach down, flat on the ground, arms and legs spread wide, and PowerAde’s trickling out their last remaining contents as they rolled all around me.

While I lay on the floor in utter disbelief I was desperately trying to piece together the last few moments and figure out just exactly what went wrong. Horribly embarrassed by the growing audience I began to laugh hysterically and peeled my face from floor, stifling my desire to wince from my battered body and my bruised ego had me momentarily contemplating feigning a mini-stroke as an excuse for this less than graceful descent.

A Safeway employee was no doubt by my side in a matter of seconds (this whole episode is most likely captured on their security cameras and now floating around on the World Wide Web) covering all the bases should I choose to sue them from any lasting injuries – I’m not sure you can sue for damage to the ego but if you could I would most certainly have an air tight case.

I giggled my way throughout the remainder of my shopping trip, hanging my head low, sidestepping anyone who may have seen my spastic fall, and carefully avoiding the aisle where a mass PowerAde clean-up was still underway. With just enough food to get me through the evening I was eager to make my exit and leave all my embarrassment behind.

Almost forgetting about my mishap I loaded my groceries onto the conveyor when I overheard the cashier mention something about giving wholesale prices on cases of wine. As I approached the register to pay I inquired about their discount on wine. But before the cashier could answer I heard the voice of my Safeway’s ambassador, who so quickly came to my rescue, “I am not so sure you should ever consume alcohol. I am frightened to think about what damage you would do after witnessing your face plant in aisle 7. I think you should focus on some basic balancing maneuvers before you add wine to the mix!”

I think I will steer clear of Safeway for a while.

I made a mental note to stick to shopping carts (there’s no way those wheels are going to leave the ground and a cart could quite possibly assist with my balance should my brain ever again decide to abandon my body).

I have to remember to ask my doctor about this malfunctioning brain stem that periodically sends me scrambling to regain my balance (and I am talking about flailing arms and floundering feet) where I inevitably end up precariously positioned in a face plant, sprawled out flat on the floor.